I cockslap morals
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think my nap took me to another dimension
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
