get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
