he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
