those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
