I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
