I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
