Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
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