I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
