but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
