Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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