I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
