dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
