OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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