Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
that is very illegal...i love you.
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