happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
a search helicopter?!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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