Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
