i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
