Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
