Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
