i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
