dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
please come you make the beer taste better
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
