Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
