So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
