so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
