dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
