he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
