my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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