The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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