I wanna passion pit in your ass
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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