community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
