Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
