It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
