Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
