New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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