It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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