Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
No more Irish car bombs ever.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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