remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
