We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
And then my night got REAL pukey
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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