im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
