The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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