I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
