Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
