Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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