do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
