I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
