Cold hands, warm shart.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
