ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
