I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
