don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
