Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
