So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
