Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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